It's a brand new day!

I'm Working On It...

I stayed home from work today. I guess because I had all this on my mind I didn't sleep at all last night. I woke up feeling even more tired then I was when I went to sleep. I just now got up and took a shower. I really thought he would call me last night like he was supposed to, but he didn't. UGH.

I have a plan for today! I'm going to clean my house from top to bottom. I am going to get rid of all his stuff. Toothbrush, pictures, loofah (shower thing). I know it seems minascule, but it has to be done. I have our prom pictures up in the hallway and as much as I don't want to take them down, I think I should. I am going to clean, clean, clean. Strip the bed sheets, organzie the closets, wash all the laundry, and dust the living room. (It needs it bad)

I have to do something to keep from thinking about this. It's hard to explain how I am feeling because this is something that I want really badly to do, but something I don't want for us. I know it needs to be done and I have to do it. I have to start doing things for myslef and quit thinking about him- its not fair to either one of us. He doesn't have the guts or balls to end it- someone has to. There is one interesting fact today, he goes to the orthodontist next to my apartment building. I believe he has an appointment over there at 10:30. I'm not completely sure, but if he does- I wonder what he will do when he sees my car sitting in the driveway, will he stop or call? Will he even look over here?

UGH! I am going to get a move on today. House is a mess because I didn't do a thing here all weekend.

~A

posted by Ashley at 10:03 AM