It's a brand new day!

I'm Soooooo Scared

Update to below post:
He called! He called! He called! Wanna know why I'm so excited? He cared enough to call. The phone rang right at 8:05. I figured it was either my mom or Beth calling to wish me luck. Nope- it was him. I swear when I saw his number on the caller id my heart went straight to my throat- I figured it was him calling to cancel. Nope, here's how the conversation went:

Me: Hello

Him: Hey! (He sounded excited)

Me: Hey, whats up?

Him: Are you out of school yet?

Me: Yes. (I didn't want to tell him that because I was afraid he would say 'Don't drive back out here)

Him: Oh. Well, is it OK if we meet at 9 instead? I just got home and I am getting ready to eat dinner.

Me: Yeah, thats fine. You going to take a shower too?

Him: Yeah, I'm nasty. Be there between 9 and 9:15 OK?

Me: OK

Him: Hey- I love you.

Me: I love you too.

I was so excited. I don't know why because thats the things a boyfriend should do- but I was estatic. Heck- I still am. This means he is going to be there! Y'ay! Now I just have to figure out what to say to him. I love him so much. It sucks feeling 'disconnected' from him.

I should tell you that the reason I am meeting him is so that we can talk uninterrupted. We meet in this church parking lot back of the road and just sit in my car and talk. It's great really. There are no interruptions- unless our cell phone rings, and we never answer them when we do. I know it sounds wierd, but being at his house sucks because of his younger sister, and at my house people just stop by without calling. This way we have no interruptions. I like it.



I'm scared that he's going to let me down. I'm scared that I am actually going to see that he doesn't care about my feelings. I'm scared of loosing everything I know. I'm scared to death....

Of all nights- my teacher lets us out of our class 2.5 hours early!!!! UGH! I so wanted to be there right up until 8:15 and leave in time to be fashionably late meeting Michael...but noooo. She went over 2 sections of the textbook and I still got home at 7 pm! What's this mean you ask? Well, this means that I now have to drive 10 friggin' miles out of my way to meet Michael and if he doesn't show up I will have wasted my expensive $2.85 per gallon gasoline in my brand new car, and added another 20 miles to the odometer! UGH!

I got home at 7 and took a shower to try and relax. I am eating Peaches n' Cream Yoplait Whips and typing this post. I was going to dress nice (jeans, t-shirt, running shoes) to meet him, but I settled on some Gap jogging pants, a pink t-shit and pink flip flops. I've got to be comfy!

I'd like you all to know that I am not the only one on 'edge' tonight- take some time to visit So Gone who is having man problems as well. Now, I hate to admit it- but she is doing exactly what I should be doing.

Well, I have 30 minutes until I need to leave. Maybe I will cruise the web. I still have to do my hair, nothing fancy - but i've got to get it out of this towel! :-)

Happy Toughts!

A

posted by Ashley at 7:39 PM